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Ek bevind myself op ’n interessante plek in my lewe. Ons een-jaar-herdenking in Kanada het gekom en gegaan. Ons het ’n huis gekoop en ’n maand terug ingetrek. Somer het reeds plek gemaak vir herfs en die nuwe skooljaar het begin. Baie het in drie maande gebeur – sedert my laaste skrywe. Ek het nie regtig ’n geldige rede vir die uitstel nie. Dalk het ek gevoel die mense wat regtig belangstel het al hierdie nuus reeds ontvang – sommige van hulle met foto’s en video’s as bewyse. Dalk het ek gewag vir inspirasie om my te kom aanmoedig. Dalk kry ek skaam oor hoe my Afrikaans verswak het. Dalk was ek sommer net lui. Hoe dit ook al sy, laat is beter as nooit.

Dit is onwerklik om te dink dat ons verpligte kwarantyn verlede week ’n jaar terug verby was. Net so onwerklik om te dink dat ons ’n jaar terug op ’n vliegtuig geklim het sonder enige insig oor wat vir ons voorlê. Onder onstuimige omstandighede. En hier is ons nou! Ons het dit gemaak! Ons het deurgedruk en het elke dag dapper aangepak (al was dit soms aangeplak) ter wille van ons toekoms.

Dit gaan regtig goed met ons. Tegnologie is darem fantasties – deesdae kry jy mos herinneringe van ’n jaar terug se foto’s op jou foon. Ek verstom my oor hoe groot die kinders geword het! En hoe hulle die lewe in Kanada bloot aanvaar. Beide kommunikeer gemaklik in Engels, en meeste mense het geen idee dat ons huistaal eintlik Afrikaans is nie. Hulle dink net ek en Carel het aksente. Ralph is nou in graad 1 en gaan elke oggend ywerig skool toe, masker en al. Hy het die oulikste twee onderwyseresse. Vroeër die week het hy sy sesde tand gewissel en lyk nou asof hy in ’n ernstige kroeggeveg betrokke was. Albert, my jongste, kan dalk nou uiteindelik sy eie identiteit ontdek aangesien hy sonder sy baasspelerige boetie dagsorg toe gaan. En albei seuntjies is baie opgewonde oor die nuwe toevoeging tot ons gesin – Moscow, ons aanneem kat.

Moscow die kat.

Ons nuwe huis is lieflik. Uiteindelik het die seuntjies ’n speelplek in die agterplaas en ons het ’n dek om om op te sit en koffie (of iets sterker) drink. Ons het onlangs ons eerste kuier rondom ons vuurput gehad en dit was só gesellig. Vir oulaas, voor die koue kom. Elke kind het nou sy eie slaapkamer en ons het ’n hele kelder se ekstra spasie tot ons beskikking. Ons het ook ’n spaarkamer vir kuiergaste. Ek giggel elke keer wanneer ek my adres moet opdateer, want ons woon in dieselfde singel as tevore en ons huisnommer het van 18 na 182 verander. Ons is steeds stapafstand van die skool af en hoewel ek Ralph soggens vergesel mag ek hom smiddae nie gaan haal nie – hy stap self.

Saam met die vorige eienaars by ons nuwe huis.

Ons inperkings is toe wel in Augustus verslap. Hoewel maskers steeds verpligtend is mag ons weer kuiergaste in ons huise ontvang, in restaurante eet (mits jy bewys van inenting toon) en sekere binnenshuise aktiwiteite het weer hervat. Ralph het hierdie week sy eerste gimnastiekles gehad en was baie ontsteld toe ek hom meedeel dat dit slegs op Dinsdae plaasvind. Ons was ook in die begin van September by die Assiniboine Park Dieretuin in Winnipeg. Vir Suid-Afrikaners is dit maar ’n lou ervaring omdat ons die wild van Afrika as vanselfsprekend aanvaar. Die kinders het die uitstappie wel baie geniet – veral die robbe en die dinosourus-uitstalling. Ek was verbaas oor my verligting om ná ’n bedrywige dag in die stad terug te keer na ons salige dorpie toe. Duidelik is ek reeds gewoond and die platteland se stadiger pas!

Die dinosourusse beweeg en maak 'n lawaai!

’n Jaar klink lank in my kop, maar wanneer mens oor begin is dit werklik kort. Die kwessie waarmee ek die meeste sukkel, na ’n jaar in ons nuwe tuisland, is ongeduld. Hoofsaaklik juis met die feit dat ons van voor af moes begin. Ons het omtrent 11 jaar oorgehad om ons huislening in Suid-Afrika af te betaal. Nou het ons al ons spaargeld gebruik om die proses van nuuts af aan te pak (25 jaar se afbetaal lê voor). Ek is verveeld met my klerekas en die huis se mure voel kaal. Ek is moeg vir Covid en al die verdeeldheid wat dit onder vriende en familie veroorsaak – iets wat in ’n klein dorpie moeilik is om te ignoreer. Ek wens ek kon die seuntjies vir ’n naweek by hulle oupas en oumas aflaai sodat ons ’n blaaskans kan kry en voel boonop skuldig dat hulle so min van mekaar geniet. Ralph vra gereeld wanneer hulle kan kom kuier en ons kan min daaraan doen buiten wag om te sien of die pandemie dit gaan toelaat.

En tog is ek ook so dankbaar vir kosbare vriendskappe wat ons reeds ryker is. Mense wat vir ons omgee en tyd in my kinders belê. Ek verwelkom elke nuwe ontmoeting en die gedagte van nuwe vriendskappe wat nog wag – omdat ons weer MAG kuier. Ek geniet die vars lug en koeler temperatuur wat ons tans ervaar. Ons het nou elke seisoen in Kanada beleef en ek dink ek herfs is my gunsteling. Net jammer dit is so bitter kort. Ons sluit nie ons agterdeur nie en die houtheining in ons agterplaas is bloot vir privaatheid. Ons sien uit na nóg Suid-Afrikaanse gesinne wat hul binnekort in Altona gaan vestig, deur middel van dieselfde program waarmee ons gekom het. En ons het ons eerste biltong self gemaak!

Met die jaar-mylpaal het ek ook die emosies van ons afskeid herleef. Sommige dae is die verlange knaend en wens ek dat my geliefdes net om die draai was.

Ek besef dat ek myself daagliks moet herinner om geduldig te wees met die proses, beter na myself en veral my geestesgesondheid om te sien en elke klein oorwinning te vier. Om te emigreer is traumaties, finnish en klaar. Ons lei waarskynlik aan PTSD. Kanada is beslis ook nie perfek nie. Glo dit of nie, daar is sekere dienste in Suid-Afrika wat ek verkies en mis. Maar ek kan maklik daarsonder klaarkom. En bowenal is dít wat Altona vir ons bied, absoluut die emosionele tuimeltreinrit werd!

* Met verwysing na die opskrif, luister gerus hierna:

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525600 minutes

I find myself in an interesting space. Our first anniversary in Canada came and went. We bought a house and moved in just over a month ago. Summer has already made way for fall and the new school year has begun. A lot happened in three months – since my last post. I don’t have a valid reason for [procrastinating. Perhaps I figured that the people who are genuinely interested already got the news – some of them with supporting photos and videos as evidence. Maybe I’ve been waiting for inspiration to encourage me. Maybe I’m embarrassed about how much my Afrikaans has weakened. Maybe I was just lazy. Anyway, rather late than never.

It’s hard to believe that last week a year ago, our quarantine was over. Equally crazy to think that a year ago we got on a plane, without knowing what was waiting for us on the other side. Under uncertain circumstances. And here we are! We made it! We persevered and seized each day with brave faces in favour of our future (although we had to fake it sometimes).

In all seriousness, we are doing very well. Technology is amazing! Your phone now shares memories of photos you took a year ago. I can’t believe how big the kids got! And how they simply accept life in Canada. Both communicate comfortably in English and most people have no idea that our home language is Afrikaans. Some just assume that Carl and I have accents. Ralph started grade 1 and keenly goes to school every morning – mask and all. He has the best teachers! Earlier this week, he lost his sixth tooth and now looks like he was involved in a bar fight. Albert, my youngest, can now finally discover his own identity since he now goes to day care without his bossy brother. Both boys are ecstatic about the newest addition to our household – Moscow the rescue cat.

Moscow the cat.

Our new home is lovely! Finally, the boys have space to play in our backyard. The grownups have a deck for morning coffee (and something stronger in the evenings). We recently had our first visit around the fire pit, and it was so cosy! For old times’ sake, before the cold hits us. The boys each have their own bedrooms and we have the entire basement as extra space. We also have a spare bedroom, ready for visitors. I giggle every time I must update my address – we live in the same crescent as before, but the house number changed from 18 to 182. We are still within walking distance from the school. Although I walk with Ralph to school in the mornings, I am not allowed to meet him at school in the afternoon. He walks by himself!

With the previous owners, at our new house.

Our restrictions ended up being lifted in August. Although masks are still mandatory, we are again allowed to have visitors in our homes, we can dine in restaurants (you must present your vaccine card) and some indoor activities have resumed. Ralph had his first gymnastics lesson this week and was rather upset when I told him it only takes place every Tuesday. Earlier this month we visited the Assiniboine Park Zoo in Winnipeg. For South Africans, it is a rather lukewarm experience because we take the wild animals in Africa for granted. The kids enjoyed the excursion very much, especially the seals and the dinosaur exhibition. By the end of a very busy day, I was so relieved to return to our quiet little town. I'm surprised by how quick I became accustomed to the pace of small-town living.

The dinosaurs move and make a noise!

A year sounds like a long time in my head. When you start from scratch though, it is actually especially short. What I struggle with most, after a year in my new home country, is impatience. Mostly because we are staring over. We had 11 years left on the mortgage of our home in South Africa. Now we used all our savings to begin the whole process anew (for 25 years). I’m bored with my wardrobe and the empty walls in the new house feel naked. I’m tired of Covid and all the division it is causing among friends and family – something that is hard to ignore in a small town. I wish I could drop off the boys at their grandparents for the weekend so we can have a break. On top of that, I feel guilty for depriving them of each other’s company. Ralph often asks when they will visit, and all we can do is wait and see what the pandemic will allow.

And yet, I am so thankful for the wonderful friendships we already gained. People who care about us and invest their time in my children. Now that we are allowed to get together again, I welcome every new encounter and all the potential friendships that await. I enjoy the fresh air and cooler temperatures we currently have. We have experienced all four seasons and fall has to be my favourite so far. Sucks that it is so short! We don’t lock our backdoor and the wooden fence around our backyard is merely for privacy. We look forward to more South African families that will soon settle in Altona, entering Canada with the same pilot we used. And we successfully made our own biltong!

Along with the one-year milestone, I relived many of the emotions from our farewell. Some days the longing aches and I wish my loved ones were just around the corner.

I realise that I have to remind myself daily to be patient with the process. To take better care of myself and especially my mental health. And to celebrate all the small victories. Emigration is traumatic, period. We all probably suffer from PTSD. Canada is certainly not perfect either. Believe it or not, there are some services in South Africa that I prefer and miss. But I can easily get by without it. Above all, what Altona has to offer makes the whole emotional rollercoaster worth it!

* With reference to my title, listen to this track: